Winter Hibernation

Last Thursday, I heard an interview on NPR's "Talk of the Nation" with Boston Globe columnist James Carroll. They were discussing his take on the winter solstice. Since the winter months bring longer periods of darkness and colder weather, this has often been a time when people report feelings of depression and anxiety. Carroll suggests that the effects of the coming winter months may be especially profound this year in the midst of national economic turmoil and the impending change in the presidency. Carroll is not a psychologist, but his observations make logical sense. He is observing how the state of a nation can effect the well-being of its citizens. This may seem obvious, but I think it is often overlooked in the course of our everyday lives.
Within their discussion, the interviewer referenced a psychological disorder called seasonal affective disorder (SAD) that is often associated with the winter months. The DSM-IV (Diagnostic Systems Manual, a manual used to diagnosis psychological disorders) defines SAD as a sub-type of mood-disorder that has recurring seasonal patterns, with depression occurring most often in the winter and going into remission by mid spring or early summer, though it can also happen in reverse. Persons with SAD often find relief by traveling to areas near the equator during colder winter months. This clinical disorder is an extreme example, but an example nonetheless, of the ways in which our physical environment can have an affect on our lives.
The interview with Carroll included a discussion with a caller who offered her take on the pervasiveness of depression during these months. She suggested that humans, as a species, have created a societal structure that contributes to mental disorders such as depression and anxiety. We pack our schedules full with "things-to-do" and leave little down time to reflect on what we've done. During the winter months, she suggests, our bodies physiologically want to rest, or hibernate, but instead we push through and deny ourselves any breaks, which leaves us tired and anxious. As I listened to her interpretation I felt somewhat relieved. I know that her incite isn't backed by much scientific data, but I still like this idea as a partial explanation for the struggle I feel this winter.
I have fond memories of snuggling for days under blankets, and making a fire during the winters of my past, but this winter has been a continuation of every other day. I miss winter break during the school year, and the relief after the fall semester. But now, my daily activities require me to stay busy throughout the year and are directly affected by both the weather and the national economic climate. This makes the outlook of the coming months even more bleak. So, if I am to survive the winter, even with minimal hibernation, I suppose the logical action would be to vacation in a warmer climate, or turn up the heat, or simply take it easy and enjoy a fire some evenings. I guess we'll see...

Richmond Roller Derby

We went to the Rivercity Roller Girls "Season's Beatings" match Sunday night at Skateland on Hull St.  All Star has sponsored the team since May, but reluctantly we have never been to a match, even though we've had free tickets!  So Sunday night we made the trek.  Venturing down Hull St. and pulling into the dusty old gravel parking lot, it looked like nothing had changed since the seventies, which made the whole experience that much more authentic.  A quick "wiki" search for roller derby will give you a good introduction into the sport, which has been around since at least the twenties.  It has almost always been dominated by females, but more recently has incorporated co-ed and all-male teams.  The women last night exemplified the sport at its current trend, which is described as campy, athletic, punk, and third-wave feminist (see the wiki entry).  Most girls were dressed in fish-net stockings or knee high stripped socks under their knee pads, and had briefs or short skirts barely covering anything. The crowd was more diverse with families and couples all shapes and styles.  The vibe felt like a little league game, but with beer instead of the soccer-mom concession stand.  Skateland itself probably contributed to the "family-fun" feeling.  It is a very low-budget space that is basically an open floor about the size of a basketball court with old fast-food restaurant tables strewn about the out side of the painted oval "track".  There was a mismatched set list of music played over loud speakers echoing around the hollow room, and an announcer (guy with a microphone) interjecting his personal commentary throughout the evening.    

The match started after some delay.  The two teams were introduced to the crowd player by player.  They had names like "Busta Hyman" or "Brawlin Barista" and as each girl was called she made a lap around the track and "high-fived" all the other girls on each team.  At this point I was merely observing the scene as a passing on-looker.  I had yet to be drawn in to the action of the whole event, until the match began...As the first heat started I realized that I had no idea what was going on, or how the rules of a roller derby worked.  I watched  as a pack of girls lined up at the starting line, and two other girls with stars on their helmets, one from each team, lined up behind the pack.  One whistle blew and the pack started off, then another whistle blew and the two star girls skated off too.  The girls all skated around an inner track outlined by duct tape.  The referees stood in the middle or skated around an outer ring keeping up with the revolving cluster of skaters as they pushed and body-checked each other around the track.  We watched a few matches, which each last about five minutes (or some specified time that I never figured out) and I still had no idea what was happening.  It was all a seemingly organized process, but I didn't understand the exact rules until I asked the guy pouring beers and got the basic jest of it.  He said that the two girls with the stars are the "jammers", and the rest of the pack, maybe ten girls, are the "blockers".  The jammers are the ones that score points by passing through the pack.  They get a point for each blocker on the other team that they pass. Sounds pretty simple, but then you factor in all the penalties, maneuvering (like the sling-shot!), and scoring and the simple game is so much more complex.  Nonetheless, it is cool to watch.  

Before we left, my husband Jamie ended up talking to a guy from another Richmond roller derby team, the Richmond Derby Demons.  He was recruiting for their all-male and co-ed teams.  Jamie was very interested in the idea of us joining their co-ed team, so I may end up having an even better understanding of the sport in the near future!

The attitude behind the sport itself has a very grassroots feeling, which I find appealing. The teams are not backed by major funding.  Most teams are donation and fan driven, and the players themselves are there for the sport rather than for the money.  It is a "Do-It-Yourself" attitude and I admire the passion that goes along with making it happen. Check it out for yourself!!

Local teams: (most updated links)

Rivercity Roller Girls - www.rivercityrollergirls.org or myspace.com/riversityrollergirls

Richmond Derby Demons - myspace.com/richmondderbydemons

Re:new Richmond Non-profit

I have wanted to start a non-profit in Richmond with the intention of funding projects that revolve around the idea of sustainability in an urban setting.  This idea has been formulating for many months now.  I had once toyed with the idea of converting my for-profit business into the non-profit's "store front", and make the deli/market a model for environmentally sustainable practices.  But, in the long run, I would personally end up losing on my investments. So instead I have turned my attention towards starting a separate entity.  On the short term, I envision a group that would fundraise and invest in projects that basically get the idea of urban sustainability out into the community.  Anyone interested?

I have a few projects in mind, such as establishing community gardens in various urban neighborhoods, and setting up committees in those neighborhoods to continue their involvement.  The gardens could be on private land that was rented or donated, and have water and irrigation that involved a rainwater catch system rather than pumping in water.  Plots could be rented per season, or fundraised by each committee and plots assigned on a first-come basis.  There are so many models for community based gardening taking place all over the country, it would be great for Richmond to have similar recognition.

A second idea is to fund the installation of bike racks all over the city.  In Amsterdam and all over Holland it seems like EVERYONE rides bicycles, so they have these kick-ass bike racks that work like a parking space for bikes (see www.youtube.com and search "bike tree") by hanging your bike up in a rain-covered "tree".   Richmond may not need such an expensive bike rack, but more simple ones would help to encourage bicycling and less car traffic.  Also, lobbying the city council for bike lanes on major roads would be a good project to pursue.

Another idea that I have been working on is to sponsor a hypermiling race, much like an auto cross race but one in which the winner is chosen by the least amount of fuel used rather than the fastest time.  This would be a collaborative project with other businesses and non-profits as well as the city.  Prizes would be awarded for the driver and the car that received the best fuel economy along a predetermined stretch of "race track" (through the city, on the highway...).  I'd like to try to do this in the spring of 2009, even if the non-profit is not up and going yet!

And yet another idea that I would LOVE to see happen is for Byrd Park's Shields Lake, the one with the fountain, to re-open as a swimming lake.  At one point in time, this lake was a popular swimming spot in Richmond, but due to integration laws it was closed in 1955 so that Blacks moving in to the Byrd Park area wouldn't be able to swim there too (see www.byrdpark.org).  The re-opening of that lake would not only be a major symbolic accomplishment for Richmond, it would also be AWESOME!  So, this idea is not as strict in keeping with the whole "sustainability" theme of the non-profit, but it would be amazing to be a part of such a project.  

A long term goal that I have put the most thought into, is to eventually open some sort of interactive museum in Richmond.  The museum would incorporate the use of recycled pieces of the city, like old warehouse metal and street lamps, to make an artistically fashioned jungle gym, much like the City Museum in St. Louis (www.citymuseum.org), but also incorporate elements of the sustainability idea.  There would be a community garden in the space, and a water system that was self sufficient (rain water filtered into the building, and building water filtered out for the gardens and back in again...it's possible!).  There would also be a space for a cafe with locally grown foods served, and a space for bands to play, all of which would be powered by alternative energies (wind, solar).  SO this space would be the total self-sufficient oddity unlike Richmond has ever dreamed.  And what's more is that it would be interactive, so it would be teaching along with being really cool to visit.  Families, field trips, teens, adults could all be a part of it and find something about it that interested them.  It would involve art, Richmond history, and the environment, and be a space to hold lectures, teach classes, and hang out.  I know it sounds like a "hippy dreamland",  but I do see Richmond being a place that could use a meeting place for these kinds of ideas.  

One of the most frustrating parts about living in Richmond has been the barriers that I have seen stifle a lot of creative ideas.  These barriers start all the way at the top, with the local government (doing things like refusing solar panel installations because the city official had poor knowledge of the technology) and then trickle down in to the separation of cliques based on dress codes or musical tastes.  I've lived in and visited many cities where the attitude of the local government is a main reason for the city's ability to take risks and make positive changes (Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Arcata, CA, Amsterdam, Paris, to name a few).  But it's the community that elects those officials, so it has to start on this end.  I know that Richmond has the community-power to back more progressive ideas, and I guess starting a non-profit like this would be a good way to see that happen.  

The State of Things

For the past two years, I have owned a corner "market and deli" in an urban neighborhood of Richmond, VA.  I decided to embark on this venture in the midst of finishing a master's degree and living in a different state.  My degree has little to do with small business ownership, but at that time I was bitter towards continuing on in the field in which I had been trained.  For lack of a better explanation, I wanted to pursue something of my own making rather than feel stuck in the machinery of an academic career (which is where I was heading).  Thus, I took equity out of the condo that I owned, purchased the already (somewhat) established business, acquired all the proper licenses and opened December 2006.  I was still living a state away then, and traveling every other weekend, in between finishing my thesis.  Finally, after graduation the following May, I moved up to Richmond and settled in to being the owner on a daily basis.  All of that went along fairly smoothly, and looking back now (of course) seems like it was all an easy process.  

The hardest part about owning a business, for me, has been dealing with feeling responsible for EVERY LITTLE ASPECT of the business.  That is my biggest weakness in owning this business; trying to do everything.  I have learned to delegate responsibility, but only in the last few months have I actually practiced it.  I had a moment of clarity one morning, riding my bike across the river to work; I was thinking about a non-profit that I want to start one day and realizing that all of the ideas that I have in mind are way beyond my knowledge or skill.  I started thinking about all the job positions that would be necessary to accomplish any one of the goals for the non-profit, and stupidly I was trying to fill every one of those with myself.  Of course, the next thought was how my current business was similar to that structure or lack of structure that I had conjured up.  I employ five people, and there is no reason why I should have to do the jobs that I pay them to do.  I am exhausted everyday and up at night thinking and stressing about all of the things that need to get done.  It took me two years to figure out that I need to be concentrating less on the daily operations and more on the management of the business itself.  I try to do bookkeeping, ring up customers, stock shelves, make sandwiches, plan budgets, finance upgrades, and on and on, and feel negligent for having a conversation with a customer for longer than ten minutes.  On the one hand, my involvement like this is necessary because I am not in a position to pay someone else to do it ( I hardly pay myself!).  But on the other hand, the juggling act is falling apart, and the more I take on, the more unsteady everything becomes.  I don't foresee much changing in the next few months, given the state of things in the economy and in our budget.  Hopefully, this present understanding should help me to take a look at what I am doing and to rearrange things where they can be changed.  

The Main Idea

RE:NEW is an ongoing attempt at ordering my thoughts.  The name represents multiple concepts and ideas that have yet to exist outside of their electro-chemical state (in my brain).  

At times, I forget how important it is to write things down.  I make lists constantly, for groceries, for things to do, for bills to pay, for anything that I will forget about later, but not one bit of it is of any substance.  My notes and lists have no profundity, no complexity, nothing of consequence.  I write for no other purpose than to remind myself of petty aspects of my life.  I could and would forget such things if they were not written down.  The consequences of doing that would be so minor that the next moment would come and go without regret.  But, I still go on writing little nothings such that the bits of paper clutter everything.  This clutter is perhaps ironic given that the purpose of my lists and notes is for keeping things in place.  This daily habit has brought me such worthlessness.  My mornings are heavily caffeinated for the sole purpose of increasing neuronal firings, so that the worthlessness will be lost in the process and the petty reminders can be written down.  Obviously I've created a pattern that has lead to my own demise.  Thus, this blog is an attempt to order my thoughts, and to at least have a few moments of clarity and purpose in my writing, which should reflect back on my thinking as well (if all goes as planned).  Thanks for reading.