The State of Things

For the past two years, I have owned a corner "market and deli" in an urban neighborhood of Richmond, VA.  I decided to embark on this venture in the midst of finishing a master's degree and living in a different state.  My degree has little to do with small business ownership, but at that time I was bitter towards continuing on in the field in which I had been trained.  For lack of a better explanation, I wanted to pursue something of my own making rather than feel stuck in the machinery of an academic career (which is where I was heading).  Thus, I took equity out of the condo that I owned, purchased the already (somewhat) established business, acquired all the proper licenses and opened December 2006.  I was still living a state away then, and traveling every other weekend, in between finishing my thesis.  Finally, after graduation the following May, I moved up to Richmond and settled in to being the owner on a daily basis.  All of that went along fairly smoothly, and looking back now (of course) seems like it was all an easy process.  

The hardest part about owning a business, for me, has been dealing with feeling responsible for EVERY LITTLE ASPECT of the business.  That is my biggest weakness in owning this business; trying to do everything.  I have learned to delegate responsibility, but only in the last few months have I actually practiced it.  I had a moment of clarity one morning, riding my bike across the river to work; I was thinking about a non-profit that I want to start one day and realizing that all of the ideas that I have in mind are way beyond my knowledge or skill.  I started thinking about all the job positions that would be necessary to accomplish any one of the goals for the non-profit, and stupidly I was trying to fill every one of those with myself.  Of course, the next thought was how my current business was similar to that structure or lack of structure that I had conjured up.  I employ five people, and there is no reason why I should have to do the jobs that I pay them to do.  I am exhausted everyday and up at night thinking and stressing about all of the things that need to get done.  It took me two years to figure out that I need to be concentrating less on the daily operations and more on the management of the business itself.  I try to do bookkeeping, ring up customers, stock shelves, make sandwiches, plan budgets, finance upgrades, and on and on, and feel negligent for having a conversation with a customer for longer than ten minutes.  On the one hand, my involvement like this is necessary because I am not in a position to pay someone else to do it ( I hardly pay myself!).  But on the other hand, the juggling act is falling apart, and the more I take on, the more unsteady everything becomes.  I don't foresee much changing in the next few months, given the state of things in the economy and in our budget.  Hopefully, this present understanding should help me to take a look at what I am doing and to rearrange things where they can be changed.